We were not meant to live isolated lives. The longer you live, the more you understand the need to live in the context of community. We are bombarded with fears. We are overwhelmed with negativity. The truth is, we really do need each other. We need the encouraging word and affirmation that only comes through friendships.
Encouraging the heart is about developing friendships. How do you develop friendships? You recognize the gifts in others. When was the last time YOU reached out to someone. When was the last time YOU called forth the gifts in others. When you cultivate the goodness in others, friendships open up and authentic community happens. Stop waiting for people to come to you. Stop looking for the perfect friend. Start seeing what is obvious. There are many people who would be YOUR friend if YOU cultivated the relationship.
Encouraging the heart is about becoming an encourager and investing yourself in others. There are steps in developing deep relationships:
1. Stop being negative - you will be able to share your heart but it takes time.
2. Affirm others - I think you understand this one.
3. Don't talk about people - if you put down others you will scare away the relationship you want to cultivate. Constant put-downs of others will remind the person that eventually the put downs will land on their door step.
4. Stop finding fault - if you want to see imperfection, then look at yourself.
5. Give space - don't suffocate a relationship.
6. Don't stereotype - I drive a beat up truck. That doesn't mean I'm a redneck. I live on a limited budget maybe that's all I can afford. True friendships move beyond shallowness.
7. Be a safe place - when you become a safe place you will soon have friends and deep relationships.
I have a friend with whom I can be authentic with. I don't see him daily or weekly. When we are together it is safe. We can speak our hearts. We laugh, get mad, and enjoy life for the moment. When we leave each other's presence we feel better about ourselves. He doesn't beat me up. He doesn't put me down. He is a true friend. I have asked him to do my funeral, if I have one...I may give my body to science. It's cheaper than a funeral. Enough of that.
Okay, so be an encourager. Be a healer. Maybe it's time you grow beyond yourself. Maybe it's your season to be the mature one and look beyond yourself to see the gift in others. Find someone to build up and encourage today. When you do you will change your world one person a a time.
Be Encouraged,
Rick
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