Encouragement and Frustration

Have you ever come to the end of your rope? Have you ever faced circumstances or situations that create total frustration and make it appear as if there is no hope? I have felt those feelings many times. I have had friends and family feel those emotions at times. Frustration is a part of life that we cannot escape.

Many people that you will associate with carry frustration and will need to be encouraged. Frustration is a sure sign of anger carried within a person. You get angry when something unplanned or unfortunate happens. The anger may subside, but you still carry frustration over the incident. This frustration can be seen through external signs such as inappropriate language or negative talk about organizations, people or circumstances. So how do you encourage people who carry frustration? Consider the following.

• Listen - many people carry frustration because people do not listen to them.
• Do Not Minimize - many people carry frustration because others do not see their issues as legitimate.
• Show Empathy - when listening show proper body language and use phrases like, “I can understand that,” or, “I can see how you feel”.
• Speak When Invited - there is nothing more frustrating to a person than when others offer advice or comments without an invitation to do so. If you are a good listener, you will be invited to give feedback.  Then…
• Offer Positive Feedback - many times people who carry frustration need to hear positive input. They've grown used to being negative. When they hear positive insights about the situation it can help change their perspective.
• Be Compassionate - showing compassion will help a person carrying frustration to open up and talk. It is not hard to figure out how to show compassion. A compassionate touch on the shoulder or a simple hug can do the trick.
• Give Feedback Through Questions - speaking direct instructions to a frustrated person can often cause deeper levels of frustration. Ask open ended questions such as, “Why do you feel that way?” or, “Have you ever looked at it this way?”  I think you get the point.

The power of encouragement can bring clarity, assurance, and peace. Millions of people live in fear and frustration every day. Maybe you can be that encouraging presence that leads a person from frustration to peace. Make it a priority to be an encouraging presence to whoever you may meet.

Be Encouraged,

Rick

Encouragement and Listening

Does listening have anything to do with encouragement? The answer to that question is yes!  Did you know that you can encourage someone without saying a word? The power of encouragement goes beyond words. The power of encouragement can come simply by your presence. Words sometimes hit the wall and slide right off. Some people possess a great vocabulary, but carry little influence because their words contain no encouragement.

You can see the power of encouragement when someone shows up and chooses to stand with a person who is “down in the ditch”. The power of encouragement can transform a life when someone chooses to give of their presence for the purpose of helping someone else along the way. You don't have to say much to encourage another. The presence of a strong individual in times of need can speak volumes of encouragement. Have you ever met someone that has helped you see your way through the forest? I mean, these are the types of people that take you by the hand and lead you out with their presence and not their words.

Consider the following when leading and encouraging by presence:

• Make Eye Contact – body language speaks louder than words. When you are trying to encourage someone, look at them. Don't look away, look at the person. Eye contact means that the person you are engaging is important. Eye contact tells the other person that the message they are sending is important.
• Pay Attention – did you know that it is possible to be in the presence of another person and be absent at the same time? Go into a restaurant and watch a husband and wife eating.  Sometimes you can see they are not really “there” together. They are there in bodily form, but inevitably the television that's mounted on the wall takes one of them captive. You can be physically present but mentally and emotionally absent.
• Ask Questions that Reflect Your Concern – if you are truly listening, you will be able to ask questions that are relevant to the concerns of the person you are trying to encourage. This reminds the person that you really are listening to every word.
• Don't Interrupt – don’t interrupt the person speaking when you are trying to encourage them with your presence. Let them talk. Let them lament. Stay focused and look directly at the person.
• Don't Rush to Give Advice – many times the person that needs encouragement is not looking for advice. They are simply looking for safe place to vent. If you listen closely, the invitation to give advice will come and when it does, then offer words of encouragement.
• Don't Minimize the Issue – sarcasm in the midst of listening is disastrous. Many people can find their way out if they just have time to talk. Making sarcastic or belittling remarks about the situation never helps. Instead, listening and demonstrating compassion creates a pathway of encouragement that leads a person from darkness to light.

The power of encouragement can be given through your quiet presence. I want to encourage you to be a good listener. When you listen, your presence will guide someone who is struggling through the forest and into a new day.

Be Encouraged,

Rick