Encouragement and Frustration

Have you ever come to the end of your rope? Have you ever faced circumstances or situations that create total frustration and make it appear as if there is no hope? I have felt those feelings many times. I have had friends and family feel those emotions at times. Frustration is a part of life that we cannot escape.

Many people that you will associate with carry frustration and will need to be encouraged. Frustration is a sure sign of anger carried within a person. You get angry when something unplanned or unfortunate happens. The anger may subside, but you still carry frustration over the incident. This frustration can be seen through external signs such as inappropriate language or negative talk about organizations, people or circumstances. So how do you encourage people who carry frustration? Consider the following.

• Listen - many people carry frustration because people do not listen to them.
• Do Not Minimize - many people carry frustration because others do not see their issues as legitimate.
• Show Empathy - when listening show proper body language and use phrases like, “I can understand that,” or, “I can see how you feel”.
• Speak When Invited - there is nothing more frustrating to a person than when others offer advice or comments without an invitation to do so. If you are a good listener, you will be invited to give feedback.  Then…
• Offer Positive Feedback - many times people who carry frustration need to hear positive input. They've grown used to being negative. When they hear positive insights about the situation it can help change their perspective.
• Be Compassionate - showing compassion will help a person carrying frustration to open up and talk. It is not hard to figure out how to show compassion. A compassionate touch on the shoulder or a simple hug can do the trick.
• Give Feedback Through Questions - speaking direct instructions to a frustrated person can often cause deeper levels of frustration. Ask open ended questions such as, “Why do you feel that way?” or, “Have you ever looked at it this way?”  I think you get the point.

The power of encouragement can bring clarity, assurance, and peace. Millions of people live in fear and frustration every day. Maybe you can be that encouraging presence that leads a person from frustration to peace. Make it a priority to be an encouraging presence to whoever you may meet.

Be Encouraged,

Rick

Encouragement and Listening

Does listening have anything to do with encouragement? The answer to that question is yes!  Did you know that you can encourage someone without saying a word? The power of encouragement goes beyond words. The power of encouragement can come simply by your presence. Words sometimes hit the wall and slide right off. Some people possess a great vocabulary, but carry little influence because their words contain no encouragement.

You can see the power of encouragement when someone shows up and chooses to stand with a person who is “down in the ditch”. The power of encouragement can transform a life when someone chooses to give of their presence for the purpose of helping someone else along the way. You don't have to say much to encourage another. The presence of a strong individual in times of need can speak volumes of encouragement. Have you ever met someone that has helped you see your way through the forest? I mean, these are the types of people that take you by the hand and lead you out with their presence and not their words.

Consider the following when leading and encouraging by presence:

• Make Eye Contact – body language speaks louder than words. When you are trying to encourage someone, look at them. Don't look away, look at the person. Eye contact means that the person you are engaging is important. Eye contact tells the other person that the message they are sending is important.
• Pay Attention – did you know that it is possible to be in the presence of another person and be absent at the same time? Go into a restaurant and watch a husband and wife eating.  Sometimes you can see they are not really “there” together. They are there in bodily form, but inevitably the television that's mounted on the wall takes one of them captive. You can be physically present but mentally and emotionally absent.
• Ask Questions that Reflect Your Concern – if you are truly listening, you will be able to ask questions that are relevant to the concerns of the person you are trying to encourage. This reminds the person that you really are listening to every word.
• Don't Interrupt – don’t interrupt the person speaking when you are trying to encourage them with your presence. Let them talk. Let them lament. Stay focused and look directly at the person.
• Don't Rush to Give Advice – many times the person that needs encouragement is not looking for advice. They are simply looking for safe place to vent. If you listen closely, the invitation to give advice will come and when it does, then offer words of encouragement.
• Don't Minimize the Issue – sarcasm in the midst of listening is disastrous. Many people can find their way out if they just have time to talk. Making sarcastic or belittling remarks about the situation never helps. Instead, listening and demonstrating compassion creates a pathway of encouragement that leads a person from darkness to light.

The power of encouragement can be given through your quiet presence. I want to encourage you to be a good listener. When you listen, your presence will guide someone who is struggling through the forest and into a new day.

Be Encouraged,

Rick

Encouragement and Rebuilding

I have read many stories about people rebuilding their lives. We live in a day that is volatile. Many people are rebuilding financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Brokenness seems to be the norm, not the exception. People rebuild because of personal mistakes. People rebuild because of the mistakes others. Whatever the reason, we need to be encouraged as we rebuild.

Rebuilding is normal. You don't make it through life without hurdles. Encouragement is needed when you face hurdles. I have watched many sports events that prove my point. Have you ever watched a football game were a team has been behind three quarters and then suddenly scores a lot of points in the fourth quarter to win? How do they win? They win because more than 50,000 people start stomping and screaming for their team. Let's just say they are encouraged by a lot of people. The power of encouragement while rebuilding can be the factor for total victory.

When you rebuild remember the following:

1. Rebuilding is refocusing - when you rebuild you are refocusing your energies for a better outcome. You are refocusing for an outcome that is beneficial for yourself and others.
2. Rebuilding is fruitful - when you rebuild you learn. When you learn you grow. When you grow you help others.
3. Rebuilding is fortifying - to fortify means you are trying to strengthen something. When you rebuild you strengthen your character. When you strengthen your character you strengthen others.
4. Rebuilding is offering hope - when you rebuild you offer hope to your situation. When you overcome through that hope you are able to encourage others to overcome.
5. Rebuilding is offering a future - rebuilding your life is rebuilding your future. Rebuilding your future gives hope to those watching.
6. Rebuilding is empowering others - as people watch you rebuild your life they are encouraged to do the same. If you could rebuild they can rebuild. You never get through life without the need to rebuild something.
7. Rebuilding is focusing on positive outcomes - rebuilding means you need a positive outcome. Everyone needs positive outcomes. 
8. Rebuilding is breaking things down - break things into manageable blocks and tackle one thing at a time.

Everyone needs to be encouraged. If you are rebuilding your life, no matter how young or old you are, be encouraged. Make a plan and work your plan. And on the road to recovery take time to encourage someone else.

Be Encouraged,

Rick

Encouragement and Failure

Ever wonder how to get back up after you fail? Failure has been experienced by everyone and if focused upon can be debilitating for life. Some people find it hard to get past the mistakes they have made to find a new future. Some find it hard to get past mistakes or failures because others will not allow them forget where and when they have failed.

No one has a right to hold things over others. The last time I looked at the news, major candidates were fumbling over words and major leaders were making incredible mistakes. So I think it is time to set people free. You can be free from your failures by the power of encouragement. You can either stay in your prison or choose to be free. Your failures can be the launching pad for great things to happen in your life.

It has been almost a year since I have posted on this blog because I failed. I made mistakes that hurt me and others. I did not feel worthy to post an entry. You may ask, "What did you do?" I hit a wall of burnout and bitterness. I said things that I wish I hadn't. I lost very dear friends because of my own failure to manage my feelings and my words. I have paid a high price and it has taken a year to refocus and get back on my feet.

With that said, let me encourage you if you have failed and need to get back up. Here is a list of things to do to get back into the game of life:

 
1. Forgive Yourself- Self-condemnation is horrible and can keep you in an emotional prison for the rest of your life.
2. Learn from Your Failures- Failure has its consequences but you can learn from it and help others. It doesn't mean you will never make another mistake. It means you can be a lifelong learner and help others.
3. Help Others By Using Your Own Failures-This is critical. You have the ability to help someone else with words of encouragement. Find someone who is hurting and invest in them even if they have nothing to give you. When you unlock your potential to help others you will find freedom to overcome, serve others, and help yourself.
4. Talk About Your Failures- Now don't get me wrong here. Don't talk about your failures to get pity. Talk about your failures to give someone else hope. Capitalize on your failures to help someone else have the courage to get back up and face life. Don't make it about you. Make it about helping someone else.
5. Make a Plan to Encourage Others- Set a goal to find one person a day to encourage. Do not allow anyone to limit your ability to encourage others by holding anything over your head.
6. Don't Listen To Hecklers- Hecklers are people who have forgotten where they have come from. Remember, failure can be the launching pad for great things to come. Why? Because when you choose to accept your failure you learn and grow. When you learn and grow you can help others with the wisdom you have gained.
7. Speak Positively - Saying negative things about other people drives people away from you. Saying positive things about other people draws positive people your way. Staying negative about a situation holds you captive to that situation. Seeing the positive empowers you to follow your plan and overcome.
8. Don't Run- When you fail, face it and own it. Passing the buck never helps you to grow and learn. More people will respect you for owning your own failure. It may actually shut them up. Wouldn't that be nice!
9. Get Up!-Refuse to allow your personal failures to keep you in a prison of depression. Don't stay locked in a room or cubical. You have something to offer someone else. Get moving. Live until your last breath and never quit.

Be Encouraged,
Rick

 

Encouragement and Hope

 Many people take the power of encouragement for granted. They look at encouraging the heart as something that is weak. I dare to challenge that because people need encouragement to step up to and face difficult circumstances.

Connected to encouragement is hope. Several people have made huge turnarounds in their life because of hope. Encouragement and hope go together. When you encourage somebody you give them hope to try again. Hope is a powerful word that produces new futures. Have you ever watched an action flick when it seems as though something is impossible? Then in the midst of the impossibilities someone makes a mini speech to create hope. The little speech about hope rallies the person or persons up against the wall to dig in and excel.

You see encouragement and hope go together. There is power in encouragement because of the hope it gives. I hate negativity. I don't like going to doctors who are negative. I don't like being around people who are constantly negative. Do you know why? Because negativity discourages and steals hope. There are always mountains to climb. That is the exciting thing about life. You need encouragement and hope to climb those mountains.

Let me list a few things that encouragement and hope provide:

1. Inner strength
2. Peace
3. Confidence
4. Desire
5. Determination

I think you understand where I'm going. The power of encouragement provides hope for people, companies, situations…the list could go on. So the next time you are sarcastic with someone who has the gift of encouragement and utilizes that gift, remember, you may need that gift to rise above a difficult situation in your own life. You have the power to give life. Encouragement produces life in the heart of a person by spoken words - words of hope. So harness the power of encouragement and give it to another person by the words that you speak to them. By doing this you will change your world one person at a time.

Be Encouraged,
Rick

Encouragement and Standards

Encouraging the heart is not for the weak leader. It is not easy to choose words of life.  Leadership is about choosing to stay on track in the face of negative spectators. Encouragement is a choice.  Encouragement can change the culture of an organization.  I have already mentioned this in my previous blogs.  How do you change the culture by encouragement?

The first way is to set clear standards.  Studies show that people in an organization will respond to clear expectations with words of encouragement. Some people in leadership circles insist on setting tough standards without speaking words of life. Here are some things to remember when setting standards to encourage the heart:

1.  Setting clear expectations through solid values and behaviors will energize people.
2.  Standards equal goals and values.
3.  Strong values determine goals that are set for the long haul.
4.  Goals for the long haul give people vision and energize an organization.
5.  Speaking life through values and vision encourages the heart to move beyond normal to exceptional.

Encouraging the heart is a choice.  If you use encouragement long enough it will change the life of your organization.  It takes a strong leader to choose words of life over a negative and a critical spirit.  Arrogance has no place in leadership.  To think that you have no time to speak life into a lifeless situation means that you've taken the easy way out. 

I love my podiatrist.  He is a man who is patient and gives hope. A little over a year ago I was facing a possible amputation.  He chose to speak words of life to me and take the longer path of healing.  He refused to believe that I had to lose part of my limb to be healthy.  His words of encouragement gave me hope for healing.  As a result of his encouragement I am on the path to complete recovery.

You have a choice today to lead by encouraging others. Take a walk through your organization and choose words that will encourage the heart, give clear vision, and establish values that will be consistent with encouraging the organization.  When you lead with the power of encouragement, you lead with honor and courage.  Leadership is about serving.  Leadership is about taking ordinary people to a new place that they never thought they could go through encouraging their hearts.  If you choose to encourage the heart, you will set a clear standard and propel your organization to new place. 

So, find someone to speak life to today.  When you do you will change your world one person at a time.

Be Encouraged,
Rick

Encouragement and Peace

I have always believed that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.  I know I am not the originator of that saying but I have learned that it is true.  I am in the business of watching and helping people.  I have noticed that there seems to be a lack of peace in the human heart.  You can see unrest in people's eyes everywhere you go.  Why?  I believe we have forgotten how to give.  We are so focused on ourselves - our needs, our wants - that we have become "lovers of self" to  the extreme.

Peace comes with an understanding of the need to give.  Give what?  Give yourself.  I am not speaking of money, I am speaking of  taking the time to give words that will motivate another human being toward greatness.  You have two choices here:  speak words of encouragement or don't speak words of encouragement. 

When you choose peace through speaking words of encouragement you avoid the following:
1. Putting down others to build yourself up
2. Saying negative words about others to prove your point
3. Exploiting the "sins" of someone and avoiding hypocracy
4. Undermining someone else with your negative comments
5. Choosing unrest through negativity instead of peace through giving encouragement

The list could go on...

Looking for some internal peace?  Try choosing to encourage someone else.  Try giving a lift to someone you may think is less important.  Why not humble yourself and give the gift of encouragement? In doing so, you may run into peace.  That's not a bad thing.

Be Encouraged,
Rick